Top Seed

The 2012 Olympic Games in London will feature several exhibition sports that could transition to medal-level sports in future games.  One such sport generating massive excitement this year is competitive watermelon seed spitting.

I had the opportunity to speak with top seeded Peter "Ptooui" Williams, captain of the American melon seed spitting team who's heading off to London shortly. 

BTK: Thanks for sitting down with us, Peter.

PW: Thank you, Sir, I'm glad to be here.

BTK: This is very exciting for you and your teammates but also for the country as a whole.  Can you tell us about the sport?

PW: Yes, Sir, We have three competition categories: accuracy, distance and combat style. 

BTK: Only the accuracy and distance events are included in Olympic competition in London?

PW: Yes, Sir, that's correct.  The combat style competition is conducted on an experimental basis in select American locations.  Basically, it consists of two teams of 8 players each who stand on either side of a line and spit seeds at each other.

BTK: What's the purpose of the game?  How is the winner determined?

PW: The research branch of the association is still working on that, Sir.

BTK: Tell us about the association.

PW: Sir, the American Association of Melon Seed Expectoration Artists was chartered in 1978 by Hiram G. Osterwald in Chagrin Falls, OH, to promote seed-spitting and seed-spitting related activities.  We currently have over 35,000 members.  Despite the official name our fastest membership growth is occurring in developing nations in Asia, Africa, the Middle East and South America.

BTK: A lot of people dont know that melon seed spitting first appeared as an exhibition sport in the 1948 Olympics. Can you tell about that experience?

PW: Yes, Sir, of course, I wasn't there but in 1948, but the Albanians brought a sport they call "Schdechzec" to the games.  It was a traditional folk activity combining melon seed spitting, goat milking, synchronized beer guzzling and remembering the words to the Albanian national anthem.

BTK: How was it received?

PW: People liked the melon spitting and the goat milking a lot and many liked the drunk singing but it was decided to simplify the sport, apply the American rules and just do the seed spitting in 2012.

BTK: Is it true that you no longer use actual melon seeds in competition?

PW: That's correct, Sir. We use a precision cast aluminum/titanium alloy and hand-machined uniform competition seed, 4mm wide, 9mm long and 2mm thick, tapered in accordance with association specifications. We compete in three weight categories: 3 gram, 5 gram and the 10 gram super-seed class.  The 3 gram class is generally for children and women.  The 10 gram class hasn't been sanctioned by the association for competition but we expect it to happen before the 2016 Olympics in Des Moines, Iowa.

BTK: What's your training regimen like?

PW: Sir, I do a lot of spitting.  Whereever I am, I'm usually spitting.  In the car, in class, at work, at home sitting on the couch, in bed.  My girlfriend, Sharelle, is very understanding. It's pretty much an 18 hour a day training schedule.

BTK: Do you follow a special training diet?

PW: Not really, sir. I do eat a lot of pumpkin, watermelon and canteloupe.  And I chew a lot of tobacco.

BTK: You went to the University of Alabama on a melon seed spitting scholarship.

PW: Yes sir, I was co-captain of the varsity spitters in 2008 and 2009.  Wooo!!!!  Crimson Tide!!!

BTK: Tell us about the special gear you wear in competition.

PW: Yes, Sir. I and my teammates are outfitted with custom-fitted spitting gloves made of Madagascar Red Pigeon spider silk and 28 micron aluminum fiber. We also wear the competition-approved spandex torso compression vest developed by researchers at the University of Leeds in England. And, of course, our proprietary carbon fiber competition shoelettes with solid-state gyrosopic modules and flashing LED alignment status arrays which are superglued to our feet at the beginning of the competition schedule.

BTK: You've said that when you're in important competition, you're not alone. What do you mean by that?

PW: Sir, I feel I'm not doing the spitting alone. Especially in national competition or regionals.  I'm spitting for god's glory and if I win, it'll be god's hand reaching in to my mouth, grabbing that seed and carrying it to the landing zone.  If it's a local competition, intramural or exhibition, then it's all me and God doesnt get involved.

BTK: He saves his involvement for important competition?

PW: Yes, Sir. 

BTK: You've been very successful in your spitting career but you suffered terrible losses at the Japanese Spitting Internationals in 2010, and the Rio De Janiero Spitting Invitational in late 2011. how do you account for your the losses?

PW: Sir, whereever God is, Satan isnt far away and so if I lose it's Satan's evil at work.

BTK: Thank you for your time. Best of luck to you in London.

PW: Thank you, Sir.